


Mortality

by Shadaze666



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, M/M, Suggestive Themes, This is Bad, Worried Hank Anderson, and short, first fic, how do you tag, i think
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-21
Updated: 2018-07-21
Packaged: 2019-06-13 17:39:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15369825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadaze666/pseuds/Shadaze666
Summary: Connor takes a moment to think of your relationship with him. From the best to the worst, he remembers everything and wonders how someone like you decided to stay with him.(I suck at summaries)





	Mortality

**Author's Note:**

> So...first fic posted on this site...It's probably gonna suck but hey...  
> I tried I guess ?
> 
> I always wondered how Connor would deal with the fact that the ones he cares for will die while he will not.
> 
> (English isn't my first language, I apology if there are some mistakes)

Darkness surrounds him, everything is black except for the ever present LED casting a small blue light in the room. Everything is silent, the only source of noise being the soft breathings of the person lying next to him. Bare chest rising and falling at a steady rythm, face relaxed, eyes closed, Connor observes you quietly. The android enjoys those moments of peace where he does nothing but watch you sleep. His lips draw into a soft smile while one his hands gently play with your hair. It's during those moments the RK-800 feels the most grateful. It's also during those moments he think the most about the both of you.

'I love you Connor'

Despite how much times you had pronounced those words, he sometimes felt like this was not real. That one day he would wake up from his charge mode, only to find himself back at Cyberlife with you having no memory of him or him having no memory of you. Yet, days pass and nothing of the like happen and you keep greeting him every morning, kissing him, reminding him all of this was real. This is reality. You stayed with him even when many disapproved of your relationship with him. When doubt began to settle itself in his mind, you reassured him they didn't matter.

'I don't care about what people say or think about me, I only care about you'

He believed you back then and he still does but Connor knows it affected you. For a while, your stress level had risen drastically when the two of you started dating. People who you thought you could trust had shown clear disapproval of your relationship, some even tried to convince you to leave him. You had felt betrayed, he had seen it in your eyes. You stopped any form of contact with those people and because of this, became more distrustful and cautious towards anyone you met. Of course you tried to hide it and acted like it didn't matter. Yet, hiding something from a detective android, your lover at that, only made him more worried. You broke down when he confronted you about it.

' I thought...I thought I could trust them. I thought they would have at least tried to understand !'

It felt like his thirium pump stopped working when tears ran down your face. Tears of sadness, of anger, of betrayal, he didn't like the way his biocomponents reacted at the sight of you crying. He later recognized those feelings as anger and sadness. Holding you tight in his arms for hours, whispering words of comfort, love and understanding, you had ended up falling asleep in his arms. Fortunately, some were more open-minded and supported the two of you, or at least tried to think of the idea. Hank for example, even though the old man often rolled his eyes at displays of affection, Connor knew he was happy for you two. Some friends and a part of your family also showed support, something you had greatly appreciated.

' Thank you for staying by my side even after all of this, it must have been hard for you'

It still amazes him how you had been the one thanking him, if anything, he should have been the one to do it. You had been the one to endure all those sneers, all those mockeries, all the hypocrisy. Not him. It had been you who standed up against the ones who didn't believe and humans could not share any kind of relationship. You lost so much for this relationship, for him, someone who wasn't even human. His attachment to you only grew, something he didn't think was even possible. And yet, it seemed you always managed to prove his calculations wrong. 

' What about your future ?  
\- What do you mean ?  
\- By staying with me your chances of getting a family are null. You will never have children.  
\- Conno-  
\- You will get older and I won't !  
\- Babe-  
\- You will die...Hank will die...You will both die and I won't ! '

He remembers this moment so clearly. A new emotion had risen once his mind accepted this conclusion, something even worse than fear. Despair, it settled in his mind like a virus and incapacitated his motor functions, rending him unable to move. This time, you had been the one to hold him tight. Repeating again and again that everything was going to be alright, that you would find a solution. He remembers what shirt you were wearing and how much he had stained it with tears. Always, you had always been there for him whenever you could. Emotions were something he still struggled to comprehend and voice, this one was no exception. But you never resented him for that, only tried to help him understand better.

' Shh...It's okay Connor...it's okay...  
\- I...knew this already...I did...So why do I fear it only now ?  
\- ...Because, you never got to feel something like this...  
\- I don't like it, I don't like feeling like this...it hurts...  
\- I know Connor...I know, it's a horrible feeling.  
\- Then why are you smiling ?  
\- Because...it means you care about me.'

This revelation impacted him greatly, further than he anticipated it. The android knew he was greatly attached to you before those words, but to hear them was a different matter. Hank had helped him to grow emotions, something he will always feel grateful for. You had been the one to help him understand them, leaving him to develop more. You were the reason he was feeling so horrible at this moment but also the reason he felt happy all this time. It was too much for him to deal with, it scared him. And just like humans do when they are scared of something, they run away from it. That's what he did, Connor left, without a warning and ran away. Leaving you alone, confused and heartbroken.

' I don't understand Hank ! Why would he leave all of the sudden !? Things were- things were finally coming along...I don't...I don't understand...  
\- Me neither kid...It's not like him at all. Something must have happened for him to leave so...suddenly...  
\- ...Could it be my fault ?  
\- The fuck are you saying now ? Why would it be your fault ?!  
\- I...I need to go home...thank you for the drink Hank...  
\- Be careful kid...'

Connor thought at the time that staying away from you would have helped him understand better. However, it only served to hurt the both of you and lead him to near self-destruction while depression crippled in your mind. He deduced too late that it had been a mistake, that he acted similar to a coward. Meanwhile, you had tried to look for him but gave up, knowing perfectly that he had been programmed to cover his tracks. You hated him at first, something he couldn't resent you for, but after a while, numbness came to replace the sadness, anger, bitterness and turmoil. When the android detective finally came back he did not try to avoid the punch you sent at him (or Hank's one later on). Because he knew he deserved it.

' Why did you leave ?  
\- ...  
\- WHAT DID I DO ? TELL ME CONNOR ! WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO MAKE YOU LEAVE ?!  
\- ...You are not the responsible of my departure...  
\- Then why ?! Why did you leave ?!  
\- That night when you said I cared about you...  
\- ...Was I wrong ?  
\- No ! You were right...you were right.  
\- Explain yourself then...  
\- I came to the conclusion that my attachment to you is undeniable and has grown exponentially. I did not expect something like this to happen, but...I'm...happy it did...My reaction was an error  
\- Connor...  
\- Please, give me another chance. I promise I won't need another one. We will find something...I believe you now. Please...I-  
\- Begging doesn't suit you...  
\- ...  
\- So hurry up and come fix your mistake.'

You gave him another chance, you had believed in his words. He will forever be gratedful for that, the chances of you accepting his apology had been less than 50%. But has stated before, it always seemed you could outmatch his program and this time, it did not bother him. It took some time of course, while it was clear you still cared greatly about him, trust was needed for things to go back to what they were before. In the end, it worked, you forgave him and he is glad he can hold you in his arms. He is so happy he managed to fix his mistake. 

" Connor ?  
\- I'm sorry. Did I wake you up ?  
\- It's okay, I'm sure you can find a way to make amends...  
\- Oh ? Very well, but I know you will complain tomorrow about not being able to walk. Just like you did four days ago.  
\- I can't help it, you're too good to me.  
\- As you wish then."

He will find a solution.

**Author's Note:**

> So, how horrible was it ? X) 
> 
> Was it OOC ? I really hope it wasn't...


End file.
